Light During the Dark Times

Light During the Dark Times
Life has been pretty heavy and often very challenging for my husband and me–especially this past year.
In the past year, I went from a pelvic bone that split open, couldn’t walk, was on strict bed rest; to giving birth to our last baby–a beautiful little girl, Nicolette. Within hours of her birth we discovered she had Down Syndrome. My whole life changed and I was frightened beyond belief. I did not feel capable of raising a child with such special needs in addition to the other eight with special needs. I had faith that the Lord knew I could do it, however. What a joyous journey we have been embarking on.
By the time she was six months old, we brought our eleven children and all our belongings across the sea from Stuttgart, Germany to Fort Bragg, North Carolina. To date, this has been the most challenging move, fraught with many complications and many blessings; including our Suburban catching fire aboard the carrier and being rendered a total loss. We then had to purchase three new vehicles, instead of the two we planned for.
Additionally, we sent our second daughter on a mission for our church to Utah, Nevada, and finally England. She will be serving for a total of eighteen months. We miss her so; I miss her so. But we know there is no better place for her to be than to be on a mission for the Lord.
Currently, I’ve been weighed down the therapies, doctors appointments, specialists and testing, for not only Nicolette, but several other children who are receiving diagnoses for various conditions.
There are many other daily details and responsibilities that could be listed here, but they are just part of the bigger picture.
Through it all, I committed to my Heavenly Father that I would maintain a monthly routine to visit the temple. I know that serving the Lord in this way brings innumerable blessings. Last night, I was blessed to be able to attend for this month. I would have loved to have gone with my husband, but circumstances did not work out for that. We are spread thin, trying maintain this beautiful family. But, I went anyway.
Every time I attend the temple, I always feel peace. It is the most peaceful place on earth. A place where I can receive personal guidance and inspiration; a place where the Lord’s Spirit teaches. But, this time, I received a most precious gift: a calm reassurance that ALL is working out for our good. Resolutions are on the way. I felt and continue to feel healed, whole, complete, and deeply peaceful, hopeful, and confident. This gift is so precious to me. I feel my burdens lighter as I have taken up the Savior’s yoke. Sometimes I feel that even the most beautiful and descriptive words still can never do justice to the feeling of wholeness, completeness, to oneness.
The gratitude I feel to God is enormous; so enormous that I felt compelled to share my testimony with you, my friends and family, that God loves you; He knows you; He is aware of your needs. Prayers will bring you closer to Him. Many times we forget to ask for relief. He is there. Ask. I have a testimony that families can be together forever; even after death. I have a testimony that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true church on the earth. I love my Heavenly Father with all my heart. I love my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. So much do I love them that I am raising my family to love them and to serve them lifelong, but also as missionaries for 18 months (for girls) and 2 years (for boys).
I bare my testimony to you, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Married with 11 children, she feels she’s living the fairy tale life in Germany. She is a writer, speaker, trainer, energy therapist, and mentor. Homeschooling, reading books, herbs and essential oils, antiquing and flea markets, and red lipstick are just a few of her passions.

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